


I Knew I Loved You

by tiggerblu



Category: Glee
Genre: Best Friends, M/M, Pen Pals, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggerblu/pseuds/tiggerblu
Summary: What starts out as pen pals will soon become Blaine and Kurt's most important relationship. Follow them as they grow up, and grow together. This is my addition to the Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020 challenge. Hope you enjoy it. AU. Rated M for now for possible future chapters. I don't own Glee.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 31
Kudos: 30
Collections: Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020





	1. The Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the prompt for this Friday was: We pulled an all-nighter trying to play Monopoly, and I think I may have confessed something weird.  
> Poor Blaine.

~*~

Blaine was sitting in his fourth period English class and was already bored out of his mind. Why does school always have to be boring, was it something that was in all teacher contracts? That they had to bore their students to death to keep their jobs? This was the second week of Blaine’s seventh-grade year, and tomorrow was his birthday, he was turning thirteen, finally a teenager.

Blaine always loved it when his birthday fell on a school day, especially when that school day happened to be on a Friday as it was this year. Birthdays on Fridays meant that he got a long weekend. Blaine’s mom had started the tradition in his first year in school. It was his second week of Kindergarten, and she had told Blaine that he didn’t have to go to school that day. Blaine had asked her why and she had laughed that laugh that he loved so much, squatted down in front of him, and whispered like it was some big secret.

“ _I always take a day off from work on my birthday, and so does your daddy, why should you be any different?”_ she had smiled and mussed up his hair.

“Ok class, we have a special project for you. We’re teaming up with our sister school in Lima, Ohio, and we will be writing to pen pal’s this year. I want each of you to write a letter to a student that goes to school there. You will not be told whether or not your new pen pal is male or female until you get their letter, so keep it generic. Tell your new pen pal about yourself, your likes and dislikes. Keep your first letter simple. Please don’t put in a lot of personal information in your letters, like your home address, telephone number, or anything along those lines. It’s ok to say that you live in Boston, but keep it as generic as possible. They will not know what school you attend like you won’t know theirs. The first letter you write will be sent to their teachers and will be passed out at random.”

“Whoever is handed your letter will become your pen pal for the rest of this school year. This exercise is meant to be fun, but also to help you with spelling, grammar, and letter writing skills. These are skills you will use later on in life. I expect your letters to be ready to turn on Monday morning. Also, I’m passing out permission slips for your parents to sign. We will need these slips back before we can allow you to participate. If you have a signed permission slip, please return it with your letters. Enjoy this experience. I had a pen pal when I was your age, and we still write to each other to this day,” Mrs. Mason said, standing in front of the class, with a smile on her face.

Everyone, including Blaine, groaned at the thought of writing a stupid letter, to a stupid kid they didn’t know, and having to do it on the weekend, especially since he was off tomorrow. Now he had homework, something he was hoping not to have.

“Enough, enough,” Mrs. Mason said, looking around the room. “Pen Pals can be fun. As I said, I still write to mine. It’s a special friendship, one that I will always treasure. Don’t decide you hate this project until you have a chance to try it out. Who knows, you might make a lifelong friend.”

Blaine kinda doubted it. He had a lot of friends at Carson Middle School, he didn’t see himself needing another one, especially one who lived in Lima, Ohio, and he lived in Boston, Ma. How could they be life long friends when they lived so very far away from each other. When Blaine was handed his permission slip, he shoved it in his messenger bag and promptly forgot about it. Lunch and three more classes, and he was done.

“Man, can you believe that? How old are we five? Making us write to some stupid person we don’t know, in some stupid state, we will never go to. I mean, come on, give me a break,” Alexander complained as they made their way to the lunchroom. 

“The worst part is that I now have homework. I was hoping to get out of here without any,” Blaine said with a sigh.

“That’s right. You’re out tomorrow. Sorry dude, I forgot your present,” Jameson said, handing Blaine a bag of chips he had just bought, to go with his lunch. “Here ya go, don’t say I never got you anything.”

Blaine could do nothing but laugh as they made their way toward their usual table with the rest of their friends. “Thank you so very much kind sir. So, what do you plan on writing to this pen pal person?” Blaine asked, taking a bite of his sandwich before opening his brand new bag of chips, smiling at Jameson.

“I'm not sure what I’m gonna write mine, but I sure know what you should write yours,” Peter said, grinning, sitting down in front of Blaine.

“Oh god, do I even want to know,” Blaine asked, busting out laughing at the look on Peter’s face.

“Two words. Puppet… Fetish…” Peter said, and the whole table, minus Blaine of course, had fallen out of their seats laughing.

“Oh, you guys are just too funny,” Blaine said, turning red, putting his face in his hands.

Over the summer, they had had a party at Braxton's house. It was the first party Blaine had ever gone to where there had been zero adult supervision. Braxton’s parents had gone out of town, and his older brother Jason, who had been left in charge, had gone on a date and decided to spend the night with his girlfriend. No one told their parents that there would be no chaperones, so they had all been allowed to stay the night.

At some point during the night, booze had been brought out, and Blaine learned quickly that he couldn’t handle alcohol at all. They all thought it would be funny to first play spin the bottle, and then drunk Monopoly. Blaine had gotten his first-ever kiss that night from Suzy Baker, followed shortly by his second kiss ever. The second kiss however had not been with a girl. Somehow they had messed up, and when Marc had spun the bottle, and it had landed on Blaine. Before starting the game, they had made a rule that whoever you landed on, you had to kiss. _No take-backs, and no do-overs_.

Blaine had felt nothing when he had leaned in to kiss Suzy, but when Marc leaned in to kiss him, Blaine’s heart had started to beat out of his chest, and when their lips touched, it had been like magic. The kiss, of course, hadn’t lasted long, both boys had pulled away from each other quickly, but Blaine could still feel those lips against his for hours after the kiss ended. He had learned something about himself that night, something he hadn’t been ready to share, and still wasn’t. Not even with his best friend. Days had passed after that night, and Blaine could still think of nothing but Marc’s lips on his. He was in the middle of his first crush ever.

After spin the bottle, Braxton pulled out two monopoly games, so that everyone would be able to play. Before the first game started, before they chose their tokens, drinks had been handed out. When those drinks were gone, their glasses had been refilled and then refilled again.

“ _That’s why it’s called Drunk Monopoly bitches_ ,” Braxton had said, holding up his cup and slurring his words slightly. “ _Since our friend Blainer’s got double whammied and had to kiss Marc, he gets to pick his game piece first._

Blaine had been stupid and picked the cat. He had never seen that piece in the game he had played with his parents. It wasn’t until later that Blaine found out that they were playing on one of the original Monopoly boards. He also didn’t realize until too late that whatever piece you picked, you had to explain why.

“ _Ok, here are the rules, according to Braxton_ ,” he had said with a grin. “ _We follow the standard rules, but if and when you land on free parking, you have to tell everyone why you picked the piece you did_.”

They ended up playing several games. It was almost 5 o’clock in the morning, Blaine had lost count of how many drinks he had had, but luckily, he hadn’t landed on free parking once, that is, until his last turn of the last game. Blaine rolled a double six, moved his piece, and ended up right on free parking. He looked around at all his friends sitting around the boards. By this time, Blaine could barely hold his head up, he was so drunk. He whispered his answer.

“ _What Blaine? I didn’t hear you_ ,” Braxton had said, standing up, moving closer to Blaine. Somehow Braxton had been completely sober, he had been the only one who was.

“ _I shed, that itsh looksh more likesh a pupshet_ ,” Blaine had said, badly slurring his words, even though he felt like what he said had made perfect sense.

“ _A_ _pupshet Blaine? What the hell is a pupshet?_ ” Braxton had asked, laughing so hard he could barely stand up.

“ _Yoush knowsh, a pupshet on a stringsh_ ,” Blaine continued nodding his head, acting like he was playing with a puppet.

“ _Okkkk…. Then why did you want a puppet_?” Braxton had asked, not understanding Blaine at all.

“ _Pupshet, I lovesh, pupshets_ ,” Blaine had said, laughing thumping himself on the chest. “ _Pupshet fetishets_.”

“ _Blaine, are you saying you have a puppet fetish_?” Braxton had asked in shock.

“ _Yesh, pupshet fetishets_ ,” Blaine said, grinning, before slowing sinking to the floor to the sound of his friend's laughter. After that party, Blaine vowed never to drink around his friend again. They had never let him live down the confession he had let slip that night.

oOoOo

By the time Blaine got home, he was over school, and over his friends. They had spent the rest of the day talking about _pupshets_. Luckily for Blaine, only their group of friends understood what they had been talking about. He had managed to make it the rest of the day without any more homework, which he was glad about. Blaine walked upstairs to his room, deciding to get the letter out of the way, so he could start celebrating his weekend. Blaine knew he had no easy out, his mom would have no problem with signing his permission slip, unfortunately.

Blaine walked over to his desk, put his iPod in its docking station, and started playing his favorite playlist. He smiled when Katy Perry blasted out with Teenage Dream, his favorite song of all. He softly started singing along with Katy while pulling out a piece of stationary and his favorite pen. He sat there for a minute, thinking about what he was going to write to this unknown stranger. Words started coming to him, and soon Blaine started writing what would be the first of many letters to someone that would soon be his best friend.

_Dear Pen Friend,_

_I don’t really know how to start this letter since you know nothing about me, and I know nothing about you. Let’s fix that, shall we? My name is Blaine Anderson, and I live in Boston. I am turning 13 tomorrow, yay, finally a teenager and luckily I get to miss school tomorrow because of that. How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking. I know women don’t like to tell their age. If you are female, I apologize for my rudeness._

_Ok, a little about my self, I love almost all music, but Katy Perry and P!nk are my absolute favorite singers of all times. I am a Disney movie watching, show tune singing fanatic, and don’t get me started on Harry Potter, proud Hufflepuff here. I live with my mom and dad, and I have a brother who is eight years older than me, who lives in California. We weren’t close for the longest, but we are working on it now. I love the school I go to, and have a ton of friends usually lol. Don’t ask._

_I’m going to be honest. I don’t know how this whole pen pal thing is going to work. I wasn’t happy about it at first, you know, writing to someone I didn’t know. How come your school didn’t get to go first? That way, I could just respond to your letter instead of making an ass of my self first. Sorry about the ass thing. I hope a little mild cussing doesn’t offend you. If it does, please let me know, and I will try to refrain from it in the future._

_Ok, what to say next, what to say next, um, I am in my school's glee club, and I really enjoy it. We aren’t that good, but we love trying and usually have fun in the process. There is one girl that always gets the best solo’s while the rest of us sway in the background, but that’s ok because Suzy’s pretty cool. The only bad thing is that our Glee instructor is totally stuck in the ’80s, and we can't get him to stop picking Genesis songs. I swear if we have to sing Invisible Touch, one more time, I might have to scream._

_Ok, what else, you know this isn’t as easy as you might think, coming up with something to write to a complete stranger. Let’s change that stranger thing, what do you think? Ok, more about me, I love old cameras. My grandfather bought me a vintage one on my eighth birthday, and I have been collecting them ever since. I have dozens of different kinds scattered around my room. I love taking pictures and hope to learn someday how to develop my own. I know a weird hobby for someone my age, but hey, what’s a little weirdness amongst friends?_

_As far as what I want to do with the rest of my life, I’m not sure, maybe photography or broadway. I know a big difference, but what can I say? I’m that kind of guy. Oh well, mom is calling me for dinner, so I guess I will end this now. I hope you write me back if you wish if I haven’t completely turned you off by my whole Hufflepuff thing. But, at least I didn’t spout team Edward, lol. Hope you enjoy your weekend, my new pen friend._

_Yours,_

_Blaine._

Blaine carefully folded his letter, put it in an envelope, and sealed it, placing it in the outside pocket of his messenger bag, so it wouldn't get messed up. Pulling the permission slip out, Blaine ran his hands across the paper to remove as many wrinkles from it as possible. It might be nice having someone to talk to, someone he didn’t have to face, someone he might one day be able to reveal everything about himself too. Reveal everything that was in his heart. He didn’t really know what to expect from his future pen pal. Whether they would one day be friends or not, but Blaine was willing to try. He was suddenly excited about this assignment, not that he would ever tell his friends that. Blaine carried his slip downstairs and walked into the kitchen, where his mom was pulling dinner out of the oven.

“Mom, I have a permission slip for you to sign,” Blaine said with a smile. Glad for once, he knew his mom so well….


	2. Pen Friends

A/N: Here is the second chapter for the Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020 challenge. The prompt for this week was, "Where's your shoe? The giant mud puddle down the road demanded a sacrifice."

~*~

Kurt was dreading school, it was only the third week, and he already hated it. He knew he had to get through this year, and then he would be moving to McKinley High. Kurt had heard some incredible things about McKinley. The teachers paid attention to their students and the things that were going on around them. Kurt was sure he would no longer have to hear the names that got hurled at him every time he turned around, or worry about the escalating threats he seemed to get almost daily now, whether he was alone or had someone standing beside him. Kurt made sure always to be one of the last people to show up at school every morning and one of the first ones out the door after his last class.

Kurt did everything he could to avoid certain jocks who thought it was funny to make fun of the way he dressed or the shoes he wore. Kurt worked hard every night to pick the perfect outfit for the next day and would spend hours sitting in front of his closet, trying to pick out the perfect pair of shoes that matched that outfit the best. His dad always gave him a warm smile every morning and would say proudly that his son was the height of fashion.

Kurt also looked forward to going to McKinley because they had accelerated classes. Every subject he was interested in taking had an AP class that he could enroll in, even French. McKinley Middle didn’t offer language classes, but the high school did. That thought alone made the school seem like the perfect place for him. Kurt would be able to study French again. His mom Elizabeth had been born in France and had been teaching Kurt the language from the time he could speak. Burt laughingly said that Kurt had called him père before he ever said the word, dad.

He also looked forward to attending classes that would challenge his mind and leave him feeling like he was learning something instead of like he was teaching the other students. But, he had to be honest, one of the main things he was looking forward to was Glee. A place where he knew he would belong. A place with people who would understand him, maybe make some new friends as well. Glee had once been described to Kurt as a ragtag group of misfits, and Kurt didn’t think there was a place he could fit in more.

He loved Rachel. She had been his best friend since they met the first day at kindergarten. She had been there for everything, the loss of his mother and the whispers at night when Kurt had finally come out to her. He had known that if anyone would understand him, Rachel would, and she had. She had just held him tight as he cried. He hadn’t cried because he was gay. He had cried at the thought of disappointing Burt. He had cried over the fear of how his big burly dad would take the news that his only son was gay, when Kurt was finally ready to tell him the truth. Burt was the most important person in Kurt’s life, and if he lost his dad, it would kill him. He would always be thankful for Rachel’s presence in his life, but it would be nice to have a few more friends as well.

“Is it too soon to ask if it’s time for summer vacation again?” Kurt asked Rachel as they walked towards their first-period class together.

“Kurt, this is only our third week back,” Rachel said, looking sideways at Kurt as they walked into class and walked towards their usual seats in the back.

“You could always lie to me, Rach. That wouldn’t be so hard to do, would it? Isn’t that what best friends are supposed to do?” Kurt asked with a sigh sitting down.

“No Kurt. Best friends are always meant to tell each other the truth, which is why my feelings didn’t get hurt this morning when you politely told me to stop shopping for my clothes in the children’s section of my favorite store,” Rachel said with a small smile.

“You know I only say things like that out of love. Right?” Kurt asked, for once afraid he had really hurt her feelings. He had said things like that before, and it always seemed to roll off her back, but this morning she had a funny look on her face.

“No Kurt, you didn’t hurt my feelings,” Rachel said, looking down at her plaid skirt and at the shirt that had a giraffe in the middle of it. “It’s just, papa and daddy bought this for me, and they were so excited to see me wear it. I knew you would say something, but I couldn’t hurt their feelings, they try so hard, but they have no clue how to dress their little girl.”

“Oh, Rach, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Kurt said, now feeling terrible, wondering how many of Rachels outfits he had said something about had been picked out by her dads and not by her.

“It’s ok Kurt, really. You couldn’t have known. I mean, look at how they both dress. You wouldn’t think they would ever put an outfit like this together. They just don’t know what to buy me, and heaven forbid they should ever let me pick out my own stuff,” Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

“Do you think they would let you go shopping with me this weekend? Maybe if we picked out a few outfits, they would understand what you like,” Kurt whispered, watching as the English teacher Mrs. Montgomery walked into the room.

“We can always try,” Rachel whispered back, reaching into her backpack, pulling out her notebook and a pen ready to start taking notes. One thing Kurt could say about Rachel was that she took her studies seriously. In that, she and Kurt were very much alike. Homework was always completed before anything else.

“Ok class, we have a special assignment for you this year,” Mrs. Montgomery said, holding a handful of envelopes, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Over the summer, I got together with the English teacher from our sister school in Boston, a Mrs. Mason. She and I have been friends for years. We actually met because when we were in the eighth grade, we were paired together as pen pals. We started writing to each other that year and never stopped.”

“Because of a classroom assignment, I met my very best friend. We usually get together a few times a year. This year, she came up with the idea of introducing pen pals into our class curriculum, and I, of course, agreed. She got with her class and had each of them write a letter, and they were all sent to me,” She said, holding up the envelopes.

“I’m going to hand each of you an envelope, and this will be your pen pal for the year. We are doing this because it will help you with letter writing skills, as well as spelling and grammar. Also, if you are lucky like me, you might make a life long friend. What you write to this person, and what they write to you, will, of course, stay between the two of you. We will not read your correspondence. You are free to write your pen pal as often as you like, all we ask is that you write at least once a month. If you opt to write, more frequently, that is up to you. Please do not give your personal address to your pen pal. You can bring your letters to me with their name on the front of the envelope, and I will send them back for you. You will all be required to respond to the first letter by Friday.”

“I will also be handing out a permission slip that I need your parents to fill out, permitting you to participate. Please bring the signed permission slip to me with your first letter. Also, please, before you open your letter, get the form signed first. Should your parents opt not to allow you to participate, bring your unopened letter back to me, and we will find another project for you to do. Here we go,” Mrs. Montgomery said, smiling even more, as she started passing the envelopes out.

“How old do they think we are?” Rachel said, looking at Kurt.

“I don’t know, but I also don’t know how they think we can become lifelong friends with someone we will never meet,” Kurt whispered, even though the back of his mind, he was a little excited.

“Well, I’m telling you right now, I’m only going to write once a month, not a letter more. I have too much to do as it is,” Rachel said, putting her letter and permission slip in her backpack.

“Me too,” Kurt said back, even though he knew that might be a lie. He stared at the bold handwriting on his envelope and could tell a boy written it. Maybe he could make a new friend, he thought with a smile placing his letter and permission slip in his messenger bag.

Several times that day, Kurt pulled out his letter and stared at it. He was dying to open it and read what had been written, but he knew with his luck, as soon as he did, one of the jocks would snatch it out of his hands. So even though he wanted to open it right away, he left it in the safety of his bag until he got home.

English was the one and only class he had with Rachel, so he spent the rest of his day alone. He was in his last period class, staring out the window, his mind on the letter again when he noticed the first signs of clouds rolling in, and then the sky got dark. By the time school was out, it was pouring outside, and Kurt was looking down at his light blue canvas tennis shoes. Today was the first time he had gotten to wear them. Kurt had had them for a while but didn’t have anything to wear that matched them, that is until he found the perfect shirt on Saturday. Now, looking down at his shoes, he wished he hadn’t worn them. The weather report hadn’t mentioned anything about the rain last night when he was picking out his wardrobe for the day.

He almost made it. Kurt had managed to get a block from his house without his shoes getting dirty, wet yes, but still clean until he looked up and saw Finn and Puck heading his way, and he missed a mud puddle. Before Kurt even knew what happened, his foot was ankle-deep in mud, and when he managed to pull his foot out, he was minus one shoe. He stopped for a moment contemplating digging it out until he heard laughter and realized just how close the other two were to him, and he took off running home, his shoe completely forgotten.

“Kurt son, where is your other shoe?” Burt asked looking at Kurt as he limped in the door with only one shoe.

“Don’t ask dad, just don’t ask,” Kurt mumbled as he walked up the stairs. Burt could have sworn Kurt said something about a mud puddle and sacrifice, he shook his head, knowing there was no way he could have heard correctly. Burt turned his head back to the television and took a sip of his beer. He will never understand that son of his.

oOoOo

After his shower, Kurt sat down at his desk, finally opened his letter, and couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he started reading. “ _Dear Pen Friend_.” Kurt didn’t know how or why, but he felt like he had just met a new friend. When he finished reading he pulled out his favorite stationery and pen and started writing his letter back.

_Dear Blaine,_

_Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel, and I live in Ohio. I’m twelve, but I will be thirteen on the fifth of next month. I love most kinds of music, but Showtunes are my favorites. Katy and P!nk are ok, but I prefer Gaga, hope that doesn’t offend you._

_I’m sorry to say that I’m glad your school had to go first, because I would have had no idea what to write, so thank you for being the guinea pig for the sake of our budding friendship. I too love all things Disney but give a strong pass to Harry Potter. I apologize, I just never could get interested in it, so you being a Hufflepuff doesn’t offend me in the least, I hope my saying that I pass on Harry Potter doesn’t offend you._

_I’m not in Glee, unfortunately, my middle school doesn’t offer it, but I do plan on joining when I start high school next year. My best friend and I practice together all the time so that we will be ready for our tryout. She will be singing ‘Don’t rain on my parade’, and I will be singing ‘Defying Gravity.’ I hope our Glee instructor won’t be stuck in the ’80s, but to be honest, if they are, that will be fine because we’ll finally be in Glee._

_Ok, about me. I am crazy about all things fashion related, and I own a copy of every Vogue magazine put out since I was old enough to know what Vogue was. My big dream in life is to move to New York and become a fashion designer. I know that’s a big dream, but one I hope to accomplish one day. For now, I settle for designing my own clothes even though I can’t wear most of them out of my house because Ohio isn’t the most open-minded place a person could live._

_You were lucky to have a brother growing up even if he was older. I always wanted a brother or sister, but we lost my mom when I was five, and dad said he could never see himself remarrying, and I can’t blame him, I don’t know how I would have felt about having a stepmom._

_This letter writing is really hard, even when you are the second person writing lol. Ok, tell me more about yourself, let’s have a question and answer session. First question, what do you want to be when you grow up? I know you said you liked collecting cameras, so is that something you can see yourself doing in the future, becoming a photographer? Next question, what is your favorite color? Mine is a bluish-green. Next question what is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Mine is vanilla. I know boring, but you can add so many things to it that wouldn’t work with say, chocolate. And last, if you could pick the one place you would like to live for the rest of your life where would it be? For me that’s easy, I would choose Paris. That is my dream for now anyway._

_That is all I can come up with for now, how you came up with all the funny things to say I don’t know, but you are very talented. If I haven’t bored you to tears with this letter, I hope to hear from you again._

_Oh, by the way, I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I’m enclosing something in this letter for you. I hope we can be friends. I could always use more._

_Yours,_

_Kurt_

When Kurt was finished with his letter, he sealed it in an envelope and wrote Blaine’s name on the front, before walking downstairs.

“Hey dad, I have a permission slip for you to sign….”


	3. Piano Keys and Hidden Secrets

A/N: Here is the third chapter for the Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020 challenge. The prompt for this week was, "That’s disgusting! You’re lucky you’re cute..." I know this chapter is a day late, but sometimes R/L has a way of kicking you in the rear. Anyway, here is the next chapter. Thank you for all the comments, Kudo's and likes I have gotten on this story so far.

~*~

Blaine came in from school and did the one thing he always did when he just needed to think. When he needed to get something straight in his mind, he went to his piano. Since Blaine was eight years old, the piano had been his place of escape, and he needed that so much right now. Setting his school bag down on the coffee table as he passed it, Blaine walked to the piano bench and sat down. He quickly ran through his scales to warm up and then started playing his favorite song.

_When you try your best, but you don’t succeed_   
_When you get what you want, but not what you need_   
_When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep_   
_Stuck in reverse_

_When the tears come streaming down your face_   
_‘Cause you lose something you can’t replace_   
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_   
_What could be worse?_

That was as far as he got before his sobs broke free, he could no longer see past his tears, and he was breathing so hard his chest hurt.

Today, Blaine had been caught…

He and his friends had been in the lunchroom joking around as usual when Marc Johnson walked in and sat down across from him. The only thing Blaine could think about was the kiss they had shared a few months ago at Braxton’s party. He couldn’t get the feeling of Marc’s lips against his own out of his mind, and without Blaine even realizing it, Marc had looked up and caught him staring at his lips.

“What dude, do I have something on my face?” Marc had laughed, looking at Blaine in confusion. Yes, at the time, Marc had had something on his face, mustard from the ham sandwich he was eating. That hadn’t been why Blaine had been staring though, not that he would ever be able to tell the truth. Yes, everyone at that table was his friend, but he didn’t know which of them, if any, he would ever be able to trust his secret to.

“Yes, you have mustard right here,” Blaine had said, pointing to the place on his own face where Marc had the mustard. “That’s disgusting! You’re lucky you’re cute...”

Blaine hadn’t even realized what he had said until the guys around him, stopped eating, looked between the two, and started singing, “ _If you want my body and you think I’m sexy_ _, Come on, sugar, tell me so_.” Blaine had wanted to sink into the floor, or die on the spot, but managed to play it off.

“Yeah, there’s nothing sexier than a man with mustard on his face,” Blaine had deadpanned, doing his best Charlie Chaplin imitation. The whole table had busted out laughing, well, everyone but Marc that is. Marc had just kept staring at him, which had Blaine thinking back to the kiss. Had he shown too much, kissed too long, gone too far? He hadn’t remembered their kiss lasting that long, but, at the time, he had been in shock over the way he was feeling to pay attention to how long it had lasted. Blaine had felt things he had never felt before, but he hadn’t thought at the time he had given anything away.

After lunch, everything had seemed to be ok again, but Blaine caught Marc watching him several times during the day, and by the time school was out, Blaine had been on edge. Now, sitting on his piano bench, he couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that filled him. Did Marc somehow figure out how Blaine felt, and was he going to tell everyone?

Blaine wiped the tears away and managed to calm himself down. He tried to play again, but couldn’t sit there. He paced, he tried watching TV, he even went to his room and found his favorite book and tried to immerse himself in the world of Harry Potter, but he was unable to get past the first page. How could he have been so stupid, how could he have said in front of everybody that Marc was cute, he was going to lose everything. By the time his mom came home, Blaine was a nervous wreck. He went downstairs. Pam took one look at him and pulled him into her arms.

“Blaine, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” She asked, concerned. She had never seen Blaine act like this.

“Mom, I think I messed up today, I think I messed up big, and I don’t know how to fix it,” Blaine whispered, keeping his cheek on her shoulder, enjoying the closeness he always felt in her arms, wondering, when she found out his truth, would this end, would she push him away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Pam asked, stepping back, putting her hands on either side of Blaine’s face, forcing him to look at her.

“I can’t, you wouldn’t understand, and you would hate me, I know you would,” Blaine said, his voice breaking on a sob.

“Blaine, sweetheart, there is not a single thing you could **_ever_** say that would **_ever_** make me hate you. That isn’t even possible. If you don’t feel like telling me, that’s ok. You wait until you’re ready. I will be here for you always, and so will your daddy, don’t ever doubt that,” she said, pulling him back into a hug, placing gentle kisses on his head, wishing she could fix what was hurting her sweet little boy.

The minute Blaine felt his mom’s soft kisses on his head. He felt better. He wrapped his arms around her waist and just held on tight. “Ok, my darling boy, I need to make dinner before your dad get’s home. Go upstairs and wash your face. And Blaine, remember what I said, and when you’re ready, we can talk.” Pam said, placing another kiss on the top of Blaine’s head and then watched as he turned around and slowly walked out the door.

Pam knew what was going on. She had seen the signs for a while. Blaine was acting just like her brother Alex had when he had discovered his own truth. Her parents hadn’t accepted Alex once he came out. They had pushed him away, kicked him out, and disowned him. Pam had lost her big brother that day to bigotry, and she refused to lose her son the same way. Pam wanted to tell Blaine that she knew what was going on, that she understood, but she knew that it had to be done in Blaine’s time, he had to be ready to take that step, she would just have to make sure she was there for him when that time came. Pam just wished she could take his worry away, make him understand that there wasn’t a single thing he could ever do that would push her or Michael away. They loved their sons, and that would never change, _could_ never change, no matter what.

When Pam and Michael had first met, this was actually one of the things they had discussed. She had asked him point-blank what he would do if he found out one or more of his children were gay. She knew she couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t accept their child for who they were, for something that was out of their control, for being born different. 

“I will still love my children, no matter what. Will I worry about them? Yes. Will I stop loving them? Hell no. They will be my child, no matter what. I don’t understand people who push their children away. That could never happen,” Michael had said, gently squeezing her hand.

Pam knew that they needed to talk soon. They needed to try to figure out a way to make this easier for their son. Somehow let him know that everything was going to be ok.

After talking to his mom, Blaine felt better. No, he hadn’t confided in her his secret, but he somehow felt like she would understand when he was ready too. His dad, unfortunately, was a completely different story. Blaine had heard horror stories of kids getting kicked out, disowned for being who they were, and he didn’t know if he could survive without his parent’s love.

~*~

Marc was at Blaine’s locker the next morning, waiting for him when he got to school. Blaine slowly walked towards him, trying to look anywhere but at Marc. “What’s up?” Blaine asked, still not looking at Marc as he tried to enter his locker combination three times before he finally got it right.

“Today, after school, can we go somewhere and talk?” Marc asked, not looking at Blaine.

“Is everything ok?” Blaine asked, trying to act nonchalant as his heart tried to beat out of his chest. This was it, his life as he knew it was about to end. All because of one stupid comment.

“Blaine, can we please just talk?” Marc asked again, this time looking right into Blaine’s eyes, and Blaine saw something there he had never seen before, something that had his heart beating hard for a completely different reason.

“If you want, we can go to my house. Both of my parents will be working late, so we can have some privacy,” Blaine answered, still feeling concerned, but hopeful as well.

“Ok, I’ll meet you here, after the last bell,” Marc said before turning around and walking towards his own locker. Blaine stood there and watched him walk away, no longer in doubt about his feelings. With a smile on his face, he walked to his first class. Today might be a good day after all.

When Blaine walked into English class later that day, he sat in his usual place surrounded by his friends, only then noticing that everyone had an envelope on their desk. Blaine had completely forgotten about the pen pals they were being assigned. He had had so much on his mind lately, especially today, that he had forgotten about it, even though he had been excited by the assignment. Most people opened their letters right away, but Blaine put his in his bag, for some reason feeling like it was too important to read in front of everyone else. He would read it tonight in private when he was finished with his homework.

Blaine knew he had made the right decision when he heard everyone around him, laughing at what had been written in their letters, making fun of the person who had written it. Blaine didn’t know why, but he was upset by this. He was hoping he would make a friend with this assignment, but his friends were using their letters as a joke. Blaine had quickly looked at the elegant handwriting on the front of his envelope before placing it safely in his school bag. He had to admit he was a little disappointed that his pen pal seemed to be female, but then realized it didn’t matter, a friend was a friend.

Blaine somehow made it through his day, but as he walked to his locker, he was nervous, wondering if Marc would be there, or if he had changed his mind. Blaine couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he turned the corner and saw Marc leaning against the lockers waiting for him, smiling as Blaine walked towards him.

“Hi,” Blaine said, the smile growing bigger on his face.

“Hi yourself, are you ready to get out of here?” Marc asked, reaching out quickly to squeeze Blaine’s shoulder, before dropping his arm.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Blaine said, feeling as warmth spread through his body from just that little touch.

They walked the short distance from the school to Blaine’s house, talking about nothing really important, but walking, maybe a little closer than they usually would have. Blaine opened his front door, and stood back and let Marc enter first, before shutting the door behind him.

“Do you want anything to drink? We have coke, diet coke, or bottled water if you’re interested,” Blaine asked, feeling nervous again.

“Water would be great,” Marc answered, looking around.

Blaine grabbed them both a bottle of water, handed one to Marc, and then pointed to the family room and followed Marc in. They walked over to the couch and sat down, turning their bodies so that they were facing each other. They sat there in silence for five minutes, neither one really knowing what to say, waiting for the other person to go first.

“Blaine, can I ask you a question?” Marc asked softly, looking at his lap, before looking up at Blaine. “Did you mean it yesterday?”

“Did I mean what?” Blaine asked, standing up and walking over to stand in front of his piano, getting comfort from its closeness.

“Did you mean it when you said you thought I was cute?” Marc asked, watching as Blaine’s back stiffened up.

“I don’t know how you want me to answer that,” Blaine whispered, not knowing what to say.

“I want you to tell me the truth, Blaine, please, this is important,” Marc answered, standing up and walking behind Blaine, close but making sure not to touch.

“Yes,” Blaine whispered, unable to say anything more.

“And when we kissed at Braxton’s party, did you feel something?” Marc questioned, still watching Blaine.

“Why are you asking me this?” Blaine asked, running his fingers through his hair. He had never been so scared in his life.

“Please tell me you felt it too Blaine, please tell me I wasn’t the only one,” Marc said.

“You felt something too?” Blaine asked, a smile spreading across his face, turning around to look at Marc, noticing that he was smiling too.

“Oh yeah, I felt it, and I haven’t been able to think of anything else. Blaine, I’m gay. I realized it last year. I haven’t come out to anyone but my parents. I didn’t know how the guys at school would take it, so I never said anything. That night meant a lot to me, though. It showed me a side of you that I didn’t know was there. I knew you only kissed me because my spin landed on you, and you had to. I didn’t think it meant anything to you until I saw you looking at my lips. I didn’t think I would ever have a chance with someone like you, Blaine. You are one of the kindest, sweetest and the cutest guys I have ever known. I felt it the first time I met you,” Marc said, moving a little closer.

“I didn’t know who I was until that night,” Blaine said, looking at Marc with a soft smile on his face. “I knew I wasn’t really interested in girls, but I just assumed that was because at the time, I was only twelve. I just figured I would change my mind when I got older, even though everyone else in the group I hung out with could do nothing but talk about girls. That night I felt what they were always talking about, just not with a girl. I felt it with you. I didn’t realize until later that I liked boys instead of girls. I have slowly come to realize what I am, _who_ I am. I haven’t told my parents yet, and I don’t know how even to begin telling them.”

“Would you be interested in trying that kiss again?” Marc asked, taking one more step closer to Blaine so that they were almost touching.

Blaine didn’t even answer, he just leaned in and kissed Marc, and just like the first time at Braxton’s house, it was like magic. They spent the next hour stealing kisses, cuddling next to each other, and kissing some more. When it was time for Marc to head home, Blaine walked him to the door and kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t until after he shut the door behind Marc that Blaine realized they hadn’t discussed ‘ _them_ ,’ what this all meant. Were they a couple, how would they act at school, or would it just go back to how they had always been, just friends.

With a sigh, Blaine grabbed his school bag and walked upstairs, wishing that had been the one thing they had talked about, but also realizing it was time to have a talk with his parents. With a shake of his head, Blaine sat down at his desk, pulled out his books to start on his homework, only then remembering the letter. Blaine pulled it out of his bag, opened the envelope, and laughed as a Hufflepuff bookmark fluttered out, and landed on his desk. Reading his letter, Blaine couldn’t believe his new pen pal had made him a bookmark for his birthday, someone he didn’t even know had taken their time to make him something special. Blaine grabbed the book he was currently reading and replaced his old bookmark with the one his new friend Kurt had made for him. He couldn’t wait, he had to write back now. Homework could wait a little longer.

_Dear Kurt,_

_Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t believe you made me a Hufflepuff bookmark for my birthday, even though you said you weren't a Harry Potter fan. You just made my day._

_Sorry, your school doesn’t have a Glee club. I know once you get into the one in high school, you’ll love it. So you’re a singer? I love Defying Gravity, but I would never be able to sing it, I can play it though. Do you play any instruments? I play a few, but my favorite is the piano. I was lucky when I was eight, I decided I wanted to learn to play, and my parents bought one for me. I spend a lot of my time playing because it helps calm me more than anything else._

_Ok, to answer a few of your questions. I’m not really sure yet what I want to be when I grow up, but I think it will be something picture related, maybe a photographer. My favorite color, I guess, is pink. I know that is a weird choice for a guy, but I guess I’m a weird guy lol._

_My favorite ice cream flavor right now is chocolate chip cookie dough, with a scoop of vanilla. I guess if I had to choose the one place, I would like to live other than Boston, (I do so love living here) I guess it would be Dublin Ireland. I’ve never been, but I have seen pictures, and it looks incredible._

_My parents took me to Paris last year so that I could meet my great grandmother for the first time. I know you would love it if you ever get the chance to go. That’s where my dad’s family is from. I wished I could have known more of the language. My dad said I know just enough French to get myself in trouble, and judging by some of the looks I got, he wasn’t wrong. I swear I think I cussed this one woman when I only meant to say please. I thought my dad was going to die. He just stood there shaking his head at me, before explaining to the woman that I didn’t know French. I think she had already figured that out on her own lol._

_I’m going to include a picture I took of the Eiffel Tower with my letter. It’s really beautiful at night when they light it up._

_Ok, I love Vogue as well, but unfortunately, I don’t have every one of them. I can say though that my favorite Vogue cover was 2010 Marion Cotillard, that one I do own._

_That first letter I admit was hard to write, but I will happily be the guinea pig in our relationship. Also, your letter was in no way boring to me at all, but I would love to learn more about you. What’s it like to live in Ohio? I have seen pictures, but I don’t really know anything about it. What do you like to do for fun? I know you said you don’t like to read Harry Potter, but is there anything else you do like to read? What is your favorite kind of food? Mine is seafood, but I guess that might be because we always get it fresh where I live. My mom says I could eat my weight in lobster._

_Do you have a lot of friends, and if so, what to do you guys do after school? We have a coffee shop not far from the school that we usually hang out at. Do you have a favorite hang out? I know you said you like Disney movies, but what is your all-time favorite movie? I guess mine would have to be Moulin Rouge. I love that song Come What May._

_My next question is a little personal, so feel free not to answer if you don’t want to, but do you have a girlfriend, and if so, how long have you been together? I don’t, and maybe if we get closer, I will one day feel comfortable telling you why._

_I know we have just kinda-sorta met, but I hope we can become really good friends. It seems like it would be easier to tell someone you don’t see every day your secrets, you know? I have friends, don’t get me wrong, but no one I could tell just anything too. Right now, trust me, I wish I did, I could really use someone to talk to. Hopefully, one day that will be you if I haven’t scared you off that is._

_Are you close with your father? I’m sorry to hear you lost your mom so young. I can’t imagine my life without mine. Luckily I’m close with both my parents, for now anyway. I need to talk to them tonight, and I just hope that doesn’t change._

_Do you like watching or playing any sports? I like watching football, but in no way have the body to play it._

_Oh well, I guess I will close here. I look forward to your next letter. I know at my school, they said we were only required to write once a month, but if you are interested, we could always write more. Have a wonderful week. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Your friend,_

_Blaine_

Blaine carefully folded his letter, placed it, the promised picture of the Eiffel Tower, and at the last minute a picture of himself, hoping that Kurt would take the hint and send a picture of himself with his next letter. When Blaine closed and sealed his envelope, he placed his letter in his school bag, stood up, and walked downstairs.

“Mom, Dad, can we talk?”…

A/N: The song in this chapter is Fix You by Cold Play, but I like the cover done by Sam Smith better.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Here is the fourth chapter for the Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020 challenge. The prompt for this week was, "I can’t sleep, so can you sing to me?" I know this chapter is a day early, but because of something that can't be postponed, @JayHawkwrites agreed to let me post this a day early. I know this one is a little shorter than normal, but I promise a longer chapter next time. Thank you for all the comments, Kudos, and likes.

~*~

Chapter 4 Sleepover

“Hey dad, can I sleep over at Rachel’s tomorrow night?” Kurt asked excitedly the minute he walked in the door after school.

“Can you stay at Rachel’s overnight?” Burt asked, figuring he had heard wrong, that his soon to be thirteen-year-old son wasn’t asking permission to spend the night at a girl’s house. “How many other kids will be there, Kurt?”

“Just me and Rachel,” Kurt answered, not understanding the question.

“Kurt, you can’t spend the night at a girl's house, that wouldn’t look right at all,” Burt answered, still looking surprised.

“Dad, her dads will be there, and they said it was ok with them if it was with you,” Kurt answered, no longer feeling hopeful.

“So, Rachel’s dads don’t have a problem with a teenage boy spending the night with their teenage daughter?” Burt asked even more in shock than before. He would never let a girl spend the night with Kurt, what was the Berry’s thinking?

“Dad, I’ll have my own room, and her dads will both be there. Please, dad, I don’t want to be alone tomorrow,” Kurt finally whispered, and Burt suddenly realized what was going on.

Tomorrow would be the fifth anniversary of Elizabeth's passing. Burt hadn’t forgotten the day and never could have, but it snuck up on him. Every year he and Kurt picked up a bouquet of flowers and went to the cemetery, but this year he couldn’t. This year he had to be in Columbia with his sister Susan, who was having surgery and had asked Burt to be there. He and Kurt were her only family. Tomorrow would be the first time that Kurt would face the day alone.

“Ok, bud, as long as it’s ok with Rachel’s dads, and you promise to behave yourself and do as the Berry’s tell you, then yes, you can go. I’m sorry, Kurt, I wish I could be here, but Susan needs me this time,” Burt said, looking at Kurt, realizing just how much he had grown up, and not even realizing when.

“Thanks, Dad, you’re the best,” Kurt said, running up to hug his dad. “Can I call her and tell her?”

“Yes, you can call her, but be quick, it’s supper time,” Burt answered, ruffling Kurt’s hair, something he hadn’t done in a long time, before turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

~*~

“Rach, do you believe in heaven?” Kurt asked from the blow-up mattress he was lying on, on Rachel's bedroom floor.

“Yes I do, but I understand why you don’t want to, Kurt, why you don’t want to believe in God. You feel like he took the most important person in your life away from you. I wish I could have done more for you then,” Rachel whispered, feeling a tear roll down her face. She had been with Kurt the day he found out his mom had been killed in a car wreck. They had been in class when the principal walked in, whispered something in their teacher's ear, and then had asked Kurt to join him in the hall. She had been there when Kurt had run back into the class, wrapped his arms around her neck, and had fallen apart while she held him. Kurt’s dad loved him, they both knew it, but at the time, Burt had spent most of his time building Hummel Tire and Lube. He had needed to spend every extra minute he could at the shop. Burt wasn’t always there for important things, but Elizabeth always had been. Since the accident, they had grown closer, but Burt would never be able to replace Elizabeth, and the way she had openly loved her son. Kurt had been the light of her life, and she had been his.

“I want to believe so bad Rach, I really do. I want to believe that I will see her again, but…” Kurt stopped talking and rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“I know, Kurt, I know,” Rachel sighed, rolling onto her side, looking down at Kurt. Her dads had agreed to let Kurt sleep on the blow-up mattress in her room, which had shocked them both. Rachel just figured that they realized how hard tonight would be on Kurt. It would be many years before she found out the real reason. Her dads weren’t worried about them sleeping in the same room because they had already figured out something about Kurt that he hadn’t figured out yet for himself.

“Rach, I can’t sleep, so can you sing to me?” Kurt whispered into the dark. His mom had always sung to him when he was little and couldn’t sleep. That was one of his fondest memories, and one of the things he missed the most. Kurt laid there listening as Rachel softly started singing his favorite French lullaby. The one his mom had always sung to him right before he fell asleep. As if by magic, Kurt felt his eyes slowly close and drifted off to sleep.

~*~

“Rachel, thank you for last night, it meant more than you will ever know,” Kurt whispered as they made their way into English class. Last night would have been bad, and he knows it if Rachel hadn’t suggested he stay with her.

“Kurt, you don’t even have to thank me. That’s what friends are for,” Rachel said, sitting at her desk.

“I still want to thank you. You didn’t have to do that, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and our friendship,” Kurt said, never wanting to take for granted their friendship and everything Rachel did for him. Kurt only noticed the envelope with a now-familiar handwriting on the front when he sat down. Kurt picked it up, looking around, realizing not everyone had a letter this time. He was about to smile and brag to Rachel that he had gotten another one when the look on her face stopped him.

“I’m sorry that you have to face a letter today of all days. I’m glad my pen pal and I feel the same that writing once a month is plenty to get credit for the assignment,” Rachel said, shaking her head with a look of almost pity on her face. “I’m sorry your’s seems to be so needy.”

Kurt didn’t get a chance to reply. Didn’t get a chance to say how much he enjoyed reading Blaine’s first letter, and how he was dying to open the envelope and read it right now, but he kept his mouth shut, and just like with the first letter he had gotten, Kurt put the letter in his school bag to save for later, when he could take his time reading it.

By the time Kurt got home, he was dying to open his envelope and see what Blaine had said this time. He ran straight to his room and pulled the envelope out of his bag and pulled the letter out. Blaine had included two pictures that had Kurt smiling. The first picture was beautiful. It was a picture of the Eiffel Tower at night with all the lights shining behind it. The picture was so beautiful, it could have been turned into a postcard. Kurt knew instantly that he was going to need a frame to put that picture in.

The next picture had his heart beating fast. This one was of a young boy, with dark curly hair and a smile so big his eyes were almost closed. In that instant, Kurt fell a little in love. He couldn’t take his eyes off of that face. He stared at it, he knows, for a good ten minutes, before slowly opening the letter and reading what Blaine had written this time, smiling through most of it, but dreading answering one question in particular. With a sigh, Kurt pulls out his stationary and slowly starts to write.

_Dear Blaine,_

_First off, I love the pictures. Thank you for showing me you. I think I’m a little in love with your hair lol. I’m going to include a picture of myself with my letter, and a picture of the Ohio State capital building. I know it doesn’t come anywhere close to the Eiffel Tower, but I hope you like it. I have never left the State of Ohio, and you are a world traveler. Have you been anywhere else?_

_I don’t think it’s weird for a guy to like pink, and with your coloring, I can so see you pulling that color off, either with a pink shirt or a pair of pink sunglasses._

_I don’t play any musical instruments, unfortunately. My mom was going to teach me, but she passed before she could. Yesterday was five years. It was rough, but I got to have a sleepover with my friend Rachel, and she made it easier._

_I don’t really have a lot of friends, but I have Rachel, and that’s good enough for now, well, now there is you, of course. I guess the place we hang out the most is also a little coffee shop, it’s called the Lima Bean. My dad fusses about how much coffee I drink, he says it will stunt my growth, but that is a risk I will willingly take for the sake of coffee._

_I guess my favorite kind of food right now is Italian. I don’t get to have it very often, because there is only one Italian restaurant in the area, it’s called Breadstixx, and unfortunately, it’s not that great._

_As for girlfriends, no, I don’t have one, and like you, when the time comes, I’ll explain why. My dad and I are close now. When my mom was still alive, he worked so much that I didn’t really see him that often. Now he is home for dinner every night, and we usually spend a lot of the weekend together._

_No, I’m not into any kind of sports, never could stand them to be honest. My dad is a big football fan, and I’ll sit with him and read my Vogue magazine while he watches the game. Omg, the Marion Cotillard is my absolute favorite cover as well._

_Ok, so you sing, what is your vocal range? I have been told that I’m a countertenor and that that is very rare. I took voice lessons for a while last summer, and my teacher told me that my voice would be highly sought after next year when I join Glee. She told me not to be surprised if I get a lot of solos. I have to admit this shocked me a little, but if acting and performing is something I hope to do eventually, that will be a good start. Rachel wasn’t all that happy about it though, she was figuring on being the shining star of our glee club, who knows. I know that she is Broadway-bound, at least. When the time comes we plan on moving to New York together and sharing an apartment. I know, big dreams, but if you don’t dream big, what’s the point in dreaming at all._

_Oh well, I hear dad calling me to dinner. I’m sorry this letter is short, but I promise to make it up to you in my next one. Oh, and you asked about my birthday, it is actually next Tuesday, I’m going to finally be a teenager. Unlike you, however, I will send the whole day at school. I wish my dad thought like your parent’s_

_Your Friend,_

_Kurt._

Kurt neatly folds his letter and puts it in the envelope with the pictures he is sending of himself, addresses the envelope, and slowly makes his way downstairs. “Hey dad, what would you think if I took cooking classes a few times a week?


	5. House Rules and Christmas Wishes.

A/N: Here is the fifth chapter for the Glee Fanfiction Friday 2020 challenge. The prompt for this chapter was: Person A: Aww… I cut my finger. Person B, running: Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo! Person A: What? Person B stops and puts a bandage on A’s finger, then runs away again: Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo! Person A: …?. I know I am, several prompts behind, but I am trying to catch up on all my WIP’s. Thank you for all the comments, Kudos, and likes.

~*~

Blaine walked into school, feeling nervous. He was still so afraid that his friends would somehow figure out his secret, even though He and Marc had been so careful to keep their relationship quiet. The day after they had met at Blaine’s house, they had gotten together for coffee before school. They had both decided, for now, they would keep what happened between them. Marc wasn’t ready to let anyone know, and neither was Blaine. It had been hard enough telling his parents.

Blaine had been so scared the day he finally told them. He had walked downstairs shaking, a nervous wreck wondering what they would say or do, so afraid that they wouldn’t love him anymore. He had heard so many horror stories of parents kicking their children out or doing something far worse. In his heart, Blaine knew his parents would never hurt him, but he didn’t know what he would do if they made him leave home. In the end, he had had nothing to worry about, they had just hugged him and told him that to them, it didn’t matter, he was their son, and they loved him.

Nothing had changed in the way they treated him. His mom had explained what had happened to her older brother, how her parents had treated him, and she had made a decision that day that no child of hers would ever go through something like that. Pam then went on to tell Blaine that when she and Michael had first started dating she had asked him how he would feel if they found out one of their children was gay, and what the response she had gotten was. No matter how their child turned out, sick or healthy, gay or straight, they would be loved and treated the same, and that is what they had done. Blaine was treated the same as Cooper had been.

Blaine’s parents had permitted Marc and himself to meet at their house, with the understanding that they would treat Blaine and Marc’s relationship the same as they would if Marc were a female. Blaine still remembers the conversation they had had.

“ _We’re going to allow you to have your friend over anytime you want. We told you that who you choose to like or love is up to you. However, we will treat your relationships the same as we did Coopers when he was still living under our roof. He was never allowed to have girls in his room unless one of us was home. He was allowed to have his girlfriends in the main parts of the house only. When we were home, he could take them to his room, but the door would remain open at all times. We’re not going to treat you any differently than we would if you were dating a girl. Just like with Cooper and his girlfriend, no boys are allowed to be in your room while your mom or myself are not at home. When we are home, you can go to your room, but the door must remain open_ ,” Michael had said.

“ _So, none of my guy friends are allowed to be in my room when you’re not home? That’s going to make it look really obvious, they’re going to think something is wrong, and I might as well tell everyone that I’m gay even if I’m not ready to_ ,” Blaine answered, getting frustrated.

“ _That’s your choice, son, blame us if you must. Cooper was allowed to have as many boys in his room as he liked. You can have as many girls. We’re not treating you differently, but these are the rules of this house. What you tell your friends is entirely up to you. Either you live by our rules, or don’t bring your friends here_ ,” Pam answered, letting him know, once again, his parents were showing him a united front.

“ _But all my friends are boys. I don’t have any girlfriends at all_ ,” Blaine answered incredulously.

“ _Blaine, as your mother said, those are the rules of this house, as long as you live under our roof. You can either follow them or not bring your friends here at all, that is your choice_. _I would think that a game room would be more interesting to your friends than your bedroom anyway,_ ” Michael answered back, letting Blaine know that that was their final word on the subject.

Unfortunately for Blaine, he still had no idea what he and Marc even were to each other, what their relationship even was. They had gotten together a couple of times after the first visit to his house, but nothing had been said about the most important thing as far as Blaine was concerned. Everything would be worth it, he thought to himself, if he only knew. He knows he should just come out and ask, but what if Marc’s feelings weren’t the same as his, and he ruined everything. That’s something he will have to think carefully about before he takes that step. At times like this, he wished he had a friend other than Marc he could confide in. If only he and Kurt were at that stage of their friendship already. Somehow Blaine feels like Kurt would understand. Why he feels that way he doesn’t know, he just somehow does.

By the time the fourth period rolled around, Blaine was ready to play hooky and just go home. Why did relationships have to be so hard, especially when he wasn’t even in one? The only thing that kept him from leaving school was his fourth period English class and the hope that he would have a letter waiting for him from Kurt when he got there. Blaine needed to hear from a friend. True, they had only started talking, but still, he felt a connection with Kurt that he had never felt before, not even with the people he had been friends with since kindergarten.

When Blaine finally got to his English class, he found Braxton was, as usual, holding court. Blaine usually liked to sit back and listen to him, laugh with everyone else as Braxton made jokes, and cut up, but today he just wasn’t in the mood. Today he just felt too raw. Taking his usual seat, Blaine sat down and faced forward, trying not to listen to what was going on behind him.

“Ok guys, you have got to listen to this. My penpal is a hoot, and I swear she puts a gold star on every damn thing,” Braxton said.

“ _My dear Braxton,_

_“_ I’m a dear,” Braxton said, laughing.

_“I want to tell you a little about myself that I’m sure I didn’t put in my first letter. One day I will be on Broadway. I know you wonder how I know such a thing about myself. Well, my only answer is that I’m that good. If I think it, it will happen. Both of my dads tell me every day that Broadway is end game for me, and it’s all just waiting for me to get there._

_I already have some acting credit under my belt. This summer, I played in Jane Austin Sings. I didn’t get the female lead though, that went to another girl I go to school with named Santana. I did, however, get to play Betty, who is Mrs. Jennings’s maidservant. Both papa and daddy said I was robbed, but I gave it my all and made Betty the best maidservant anyone had ever seen. The only drawback was my best friend got to play the male lead character, Lord Bertrum. I’m still not sure how that happened, but c’est la vie, which is French for ‘that’s life’ if you didn’t know.”_

“She’s a spunky little thing,” Braxton said, laughing. “Ok, ok, back to the letter.” 

_“I would also like you to know that when I graduate, I will be moving to New York and enrolling at NYADA. I’m sure you have heard of NYADA, even in Boston. Kurt, my best friend, will be going with me as well. We’re kind of a package deal. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. I won’t go anywhere without him, and he will not go without me._

Hearing Braxton say Kurt’s name had Blaine looking up, and paying attention. This was the girl that Kurt had talked about being his best friend. It was kind of funny how Kurt had ended up with Blaine as a pen pal when his best friend ended up with Braxton, Blaine’s best friend. Finally, having something to care about again, Blaine sat back and waited, a smile on his face, hoping to hear more about Kurt from the person who would know him better than anyone. What he heard next had Blaine wishing he hadn’t listened at all.

_“I am so glad our thoughts on this letter-writing project are the same. I think one letter a month will be sufficient for our grade and, with everything else I have going on in my life with the acting and singing lessons I take, on top of school and my YouTube channel, that’s all I would have time for anyway. Bless his heart, poor Kurt wasn’t as lucky as I was though. He managed to get a pen pal that seems to be a little needy to me. Kurt keeps getting letter after letter from his penpal, and he feels the need to respond to each and every one. He is just too much of a gentleman not to.”_

“Holy crap, she has a YouTube channel that now I’m going to have to look for, and I gotta say I wish I knew who her friend’s pen pal is. They must be a dork,” Braxton laughed before he finished reading his letter out loud.

“Mr. Callen, if you and your entourage would like to take your seats, we can get started on today’s lesson,” Mrs. Mason said, walking into the room and placing a stack of papers on her desk.

Blaine quietly turned around, facing the front of the room, feeling like he had been punched in the gut after hearing what Braxton had read in his letter. He had been so hopeful today that he would have a letter from Kurt. Blaine had so needed to hear from someone he thought of as a friend. Now, that was all ruined, he wished that Kurt would have just been honest upfront and said he didn’t want to write any more than they needed to for class, and Blaine would have understood. He thought they had made some kind of a connection only to find out just how wrong he was. 

Blaine pulled out his English workbook and turned to the page Mrs. Mason had written on the board, not even getting the little thrill of excitement he usually did when he saw a letter from Kurt sitting on the corner of his desk. Blaine ignored its existence until it was time to leave class, only then picking it up to put in his bag. The whole time he had the letter in his hand, he felt like it was burning a hole straight to his heart.

That was the last class Blaine attended that day, he called his mom, told her he had a headache, and she came to pick him up and took him home. Blaine decided that from now on, he would only write Kurt once a month, and then once this year was over, he would never think of Kurt again. He put his letter in his desk drawer, deciding he would read it right before it was time for him to send another, and that is what he did.

Over the next two weeks, things went back to normal. Blaine was hanging out with his friends and stopped overthinking everything he said or did. He and Marc had finally talked and decided for now they were too young to try to be in a relationship, deciding, for now, to just stay friends. Blaine did, however, catch Marc looking at him more than once and caught himself looking at Marc’s lips. The funny thing to Blaine was the loss of a possible relationship with Marc hadn’t hurt as bad as the loss of a friendship with Kurt that had never been real to begin with, it would seem.

“Hey Blaine, are you going to meet up with us for coffee after classes today?” Braxton asked as Blaine was sitting down in their fourth period English class.

“Sounds good. Who all is going?” Blaine asked, not seeing the envelope sitting on the corner of his desk.

“Jameson, Alexander, and Peter all said they would be there. Marc said he had something he had to do with his parents,” Braxton answered, sitting down in his seat behind Blaine.

Blaine had noticed since he and Marc had decided to ‘just be friends,’ Marc no longer seemed to have time to hang out with him or their friends. Blaine was about to comment when he noticed the envelope sitting on his desk. He recognized Kurt’s handwriting immediately. Blaine picked it up, and without thinking about it, he put it in his bag, deciding he would put it with the other unopened letter he had put in his desk drawer. Blaine had decided he would write to Kurt around Christmas since he had technically already sent the mandatory letter for November. 

A week later, Blaine walked into class and found yet another letter from Kurt on his desk, and Braxton had apparently gotten one from his penpal as well. He was once again reading out loud to the class, sitting on the back of his desk chair.

“Oh wow guys, it would seem someone has broken her best friend’s heart. Listen to this,” Braxton said, for once not making fun of what was written in the letter.

“ _I’m not sure who the jackass is, but I don’t appreciate it at all. Kurt finally told me that he and his penpal had been writing back and forth steadily. He said he felt like they had really become friends, and then out of the blue, the guy just stopped writing him. At first, I thought Kurt was just responding to the letters because he felt obligated to, he finally told me that he enjoyed writing this person. They seemed to really click and have so much in common, and then out of the blue, he just stopped writing. Let me tell you, if I knew who this person was, I would happily fly to Boston and kick him in the nuts for what he did to Kurt_.”

“ _The sad part is is that Kurt feels like this person stopped writing to him because he found out he was gay. He said he had sent a picture of himself in one of his last letters, and the guy must have been able to tell from the picture. I mean who would do something like that? Treat another person that way? Stop writing and being someone’s friend because they were gay. That is just so very wrong, and it hurts me to see Kurt hurting the way he is_.”

Blaine listened to every word that Braxton read and felt like crying. He slowly reached out took the envelope on his desk and with a shaking hand, placed it in his bookbag, this time taking care not to let it get creased. How could he have been so stupid not to at least open the letter and read it before he decided to listen to the words of a girl he didn’t even know. Blaine had just been in such a vulnerable state. That letter Braxton had read had hit him hard. Today couldn’t be over fast enough as far as Blaine was concerned. He wanted to go home, read the letters he had been ignoring and finally see the picture Kurt had sent him. The next thing he planned on doing was to write an apology letter to Kurt, begging for his forgiveness and see if they can get back on track.

Blaine was lost in thought the rest of the day. He couldn’t tell you what went on in any of his classes, that is until he was in biology, when instead of slicing into the frog he was supposed to be dissecting, Blaine sliced into his finger instead.

“Aww… I cut my finger,” Blaine said, quickly wrapping it in a piece of paper towel, shaking his hand, cursing under his breath the whole time.

Braxton started running around the room, looking like a lunatic, yelling, “Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo!”

Blaine looked at him, laughing, “What…?”

Braxton stopped running around long enough to put a bandage on Blaine’s finger before taking off running again, yelling, “Wheee Ooooo, Wheee Ooooo!”

Still laughing, Blaine just looked at him and mouthed, WTF…?

Everyone in the room broke out laughing except Mr. Marshall, who stated in a loud voice that he didn’t find Mr. Callen’s antics humorous in the least, before turning his back to the class and walking towards the door. Blaine could have sworn he saw Mr. Marshall’s shoulders jerking up and down in laughter as he did so.

The only thing Blaine could think of was Carl from the minion’s when he ran into Gru’s office after Gru had set it on fire with a blow torch. Carl had had three red lights on his head, holding a megaphone, saying “Bee-do, Bee-do, Bee-do.” With a smile on his face, Blaine was able to finish dissecting his frog before class ended. Once again, Braxton had managed to cheer him up without even realizing it. Blaine looked at him and sent a silent thank you Braxton’s way.

oOoOo

When Blaine got home, he went straight to his room and pulled the letter he had gotten today out of his bag and put it on his desk before reaching into the drawer, pulling out the other two he had received. Opening the first letter he had received almost a month before, Blaine could only smile when he saw two pictures flutter to the floor, remembering how he had hoped Kurt would take the hint and send one of himself. Blaine bent down, picked them up, and placed them carefully on his desk, deciding to look at them after he had read Kurt’s letter.

Blaine couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he read through the first letter, seeing where Kurt had said he was a little in love with Blaine’s hair, and he could see Blaine pulling off a pink shirt or pink sunglasses. The end of the letter, however, broke his heart. He had missed Kurt’s birthday.

Still not looking at the pictures, Blaine opened the next letter and slowly read through it, every word imprinting on his heart.

_Blaine,_

_I’m not sure what happened, but I haven’t heard back from you since I sent my last letter to you. I hope you’re ok. I’ve been a little worried, thinking you might be sick or hurt. I just wanted to send you a quick letter to make sure you’re ok. Write back soon._

_Your Friend,_

_Kurt_

Blaine reached out with his hands shaking, opened the letter he had gotten today, and died a little inside.

xXx

_Blaine,_

_I’m not sure what I did to offend you. I guess you figured out from looking at my picture that I’m gay. Don’t worry, you can’t catch gayness by handling my letters. You know, I deal with bigoted people in my school and in my hometown in general, daily. I’m not sure why, but I just felt you would be different, that I could finally make another friend. I know you said you don’t play any kind of sports, but you seem to have the same mindset as a lot of the jocks I go to school with._

_Don’t worry. We can change our arrangement, so we only write to each other once a month as required. I’ll be glad when this school year is up, so I won’t have to deal with you anymore. I have enough idiots in my life. I don’t need to add another._

_K._

xXx

Blaine slowly put his head in his hands and cried. How could he have been so stupid, so immature? He was thirteen, for Christ’s sake. He had hurt Kurt with his silence, because of words written in a letter that wasn’t meant for him, by someone that wasn’t Kurt himself. Blaine had allowed his insecurities with what was going on with Marc and figuring out who ‘ _he_ ’ was to color his judgment and do something to Kurt that he would have died if someone had done the same to him. 

He didn’t know how, but Blaine knew he had to fix this. He had to make this right. Blaine needed Kurt in his life and just couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. He just had to figure out a way to fix the huge mess he had made. Blaine had slowly fallen in love with Kurt without even realizing it, just from the words Kurt had written to him. Now, he realized why ending things with Marc, whatever that had been, hadn’t hurt as bad as hearing the words Braxton had read in his letter. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine saw the pictures Kurt had included in his letter, and finally took the time to look at them and almost dropped them again. Staring back at Blaine was the cutest boy he had ever seen, and those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes he could spend hours looking at. Blaine had already known that Kurt was a beautiful person on the inside just from the words he had written in his letters, but what he saw in the picture took his breath away, and Blaine could do nothing but stare, falling just a little more in love. Kurt had the sweetest smile, and Blaine could do nothing but stare.

Sitting the pictures back down on the desk, Blaine reached for the stationary he usually used when he wrote to Kurt and tried to write, but the words that usually flowed when he was writing to Kurt, now that he needed them, they just wouldn’t come. Setting his pen back down on his desk, Blaine stood up and laid down on his bed, with his arms crossing over his eyes.

Blaine laid there when a thought crossed his mind. He knew what he was going to do. Blaine jumped up with a smile, ran down the stairs and out his front door, grabbing his bike before heading to the closest department store near him. Blaine walked in, picked up what he needed, and then he was on his way back home with a smile on his face.

When Blaine got home, he called information, got the number he needed, and then pulled the emergency credit card out of his wallet. He knew his parents wouldn’t be happy about it, but he planned on handing his mom the cash for his purchase the minute she walked in the door. He just needed the credit card to take care of the last part of his plan, and that was the only one he had. Sitting back down at his desk Blaine picked up his pen, and suddenly the words he needed finally came to him.

_Kurt,_

_The first thing I need to say to you is I’m sorry. I can’t apologize enough. All I can do is try to explain if you will give me a chance. If you remember, when we first started writing, I asked you if you had a girlfriend. I told you that I didn’t, but maybe if we got closer, I would one day feel comfortable telling you why. I finally feel like I can._

_Over the summer, I went to my first no parental supervision party ever. The party was at my best friend, Braxton’s house, and unfortunately, some alcohol was involved. We played several games throughout the night, but we decided to start off with spin the bottle. I had never played it before, but I guess everyone else there had. Before starting the game, a rule was made that whoever you landed on, you had to kiss, no take-backs, and no do-overs._

_My spin landed on my friend Suzy. That night I had my very first kiss. I remember nervously leaning over to kiss her and then sitting back down. I had felt absolutely nothing. I figured that she just wasn’t my type, she’s a sweet girl, but I just figured I didn’t like her that way. My other friends took their turns, and it finally became my friend Marc’s turn. He spun the bottle, and the room went quiet when everyone realized that Marc’s spin had landed on me. We sat there looking at each other for a minute before Marc leaned in and kissed me. Kurt, my heart felt like it was going to explode. What I hadn’t felt for Suzy, I felt the second Marc’s lips touched mine._

_I found something about myself that night that hit me to the core. I didn’t know what to do. How was I going to tell my parents, my friends, that I was gay? I worried about every word I said, how I acted, HOW I WALKED, and every stereotypical thing a gay person did. I spent months in fear that everyone would suddenly be able to look at me and tell. Like I had this big neon sign above my head flashing Gay-Diddy-Gay, Gay-Gay-Gay. I know how stupid that sounds, but that is how I felt. I wasn’t ashamed of what I had discovered about myself, but I was so scared. I have heard so many horror stories about kids who come out to the parents, only to be beaten up, or kicked out. I just couldn’t stand the thought of my parents not loving me._

_In the end, I was stupid to have even worried. I finally came out to my parents a few weeks ago, and they said they didn’t care. I was their child, and they would love me no matter what. I can’t even begin to tell you how that made me feel. Nothing has changed. My parent’s still treated me the same way they always had. A few new house rules have been put into place, like no boys in my room when my parents aren’t here, but otherwise…_

_Ok, now to try to explain my disappearance, or what my big brother Cooper would call radio silence. The day I got your letter, the one you had put your picture in, my best friend Braxton got one as well. It would seem my best friend is penpals with your best friend. Braxton doesn’t take things as seriously as others would. He thought it would be funny to read her letter to our English class._

_At first, to be honest, I wasn’t even paying attention to him because I had a lot going on (maybe I’ll tell you about that later some time). Still, anyway, Braxton was reading about how she and her best friend Kurt were going to New York after you both graduated. The minute I heard him speak your name I started listening. Here was someone who knew you. I had already felt like you and I were becoming friends, but here was someone you really knew. I thought I could learn more about this person I couldn’t seem to get out of my head. Maybe I could learn something about you._

_I wish I had just kept ignoring him, to be honest. Your friend wrote how she felt like she got off lucky because she and Braxton agreed that writing to each other once a month was plenty for their grade, but that her friend Kurt wasn’t so lucky, how his penpal seemed needy, wanting to write more often, and that you were just too much of a gentleman to tell me._

_Looking back now, I know I should have manned up, and written you to make you tell me that yourself, but I took the coward’s way out, deciding to give you what she said you wanted. So instead of answering your letter as soon as I got home as I had originally wanted to, I took it home and put it in my desk drawer. When I got your second letter, that also went into my drawer unopened. I figured I would give you what you wanted and just send you a letter this month and then once a month for the rest of the year_

_When I heard what the letter said, I felt so hurt. I thought we were building this connection, only to find out through someone else that it was all one-sided. Once again, I’m sorry for not reaching out to you on my own. All I can say once again is that I am really really sorry, and nothing like this will ever happen again. I will never disappear on you again, no more radio silence, if you agree to be my friend. It would be so nice to have someone to talk to who would really understand the things I am going through, and I in turn can be there for you. I have really missed hearing from you_

_With this, I’m going to send you something for your birthday (so sorry I missed that), and if you go by the Lima Bean, you will find you have an account with them that should keep your caffeine habit in check for a few months, well, I guess that is really going to depend on just how big of a coffee fiend you really are :-). That is my Christmas present to you._

_Please forgive me Kurt, and write back soon. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, and I hope to hear from you before the New Year._

_Your friend,_

_Blaine_

Blaine carefully folded the letter before putting it in the bubble wrap envelope he had gotten to put Kurt’s present in. With a smile on his face, Blaine slipped on the pink shirt he had bought for himself and the pair of pink sunglasses, walked into his living room, in front of their Christmas tree, and took a selfie, thinking about what Kurt had written in his letter ‘ _with your coloring, I can so see you pulling that color off, either with a pink shirt or a pair of pink sunglasses_.’

Blaine walked into his dad’s home office, plugged his phone into the computer, and printed a copy of the picture he had just taken before going back into his room. Still smiling, Blaine folded the shirt he had gotten Kurt, along with a pink pair of sunglasses, and slipped them both in the envelope. Blaine liked the thought of Kurt wearing that shirt. Because of Kurt’s coloring, he had gotten his in blue, but it was still perfect. Blaine had gotten himself a shirt that said Best,’ and Kurt’s said, Friend. He could only hope that that would be true again. Now he had to just hope he could get the school to deliver his package in time.

When Blaine heard his mom come home, he ran downstairs.

“Hey mom. I need to give you some money. I used my card for something today that was not technically an emergency,” Blaine said, walking over, wrapping his arms around her. So glad he still could.

A/N: As I’m sure you can already tell, this chapter was unbeta’d. I finished it early this morning and wanted to go ahead and post it without disturbing JayHawkWrites on Christmas. I hope you all have an amazing day…. Merry Christmas to all


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